Coaching to Avoid Conflict.
I recently had the opportunity to conduct another DiSC workshop with a client that I began working with several months ago. This was an interesting group as half of the 18 participants had been with the company long enough to remember the last time that they tried to implement a similar program and how little impact it had. The Director of HR made mention of this, but it was the rest of the team who really brought it to my attention. The reason being was that they had come in with little to no expectations of this working. I was forewarned that I’d probably stand in front of a sea of crossed arms and frustrated expressions, which ended up being the case. However, by the end of the second workshop, not only had the arms un-crossed and expressions morphed into looks of genuine interest wanting to learn more, I received a few comments from employees stating that they were bringing DiSC concepts home to use with their own family. So, what changed?
This time around, the approach was not “you’re wrong and you need to change,” but rather “here’s how we help avoid conflict.” With over a decade in Talent Acquisition, the two reasons most cited for why employees quit are 1) more money and 2) I’m not happy at work. I’m not happy can mean many things but often it means that I don’t feel as though I fit in my team. It’s hard to be the introvert on a team of extraverts, but you may be the most important component of that team: getting everyone to slow down, providing perspectives overlooked by others, and ensuring the best decision is made instead of just the fast decision.
However, if that isn’t pointed out or you are constantly interrupted, you will be unhappy. As with this introvert, the team I worked with needed to learn that it wasn’t a difference of opinion regarding key decisions being made that manifested the frustration at work, it was identifying that different individuals get to that same conclusion by taking different routes.
DiSC is effective because it helps to facilitate respect and understanding in situations that could foster resentment and frustration. Person A may show their enthusiasm by jumping in, interrupting, and voicing their agreement. Person B may have a tendency to wait, hear the entire presentation, analyze it step by step, seeming uninterested, and then reply with their favorable opinion. It’s obvious to see how person A and person B could experience friction within a team. However, the answer is not to say that either individual’s natural preference is right or wrong. Emotional Intelligence isn’t about changing who you are but rather adjusting in real time to the person(s) you’re interacting with. If both sides meet in the middle, both sides win. The last experience this group had with a similar program seems to have sent a message similar to, “I’m wrong and need to change.” It did not go over well.
This was the crux of the situation, and it created an environment where each employee felt they needed to defend themselves. By the end of the second workshop, and a lot of roleplaying, they now saw each other as different but equal. Differences in behavior were no longer a mountain to overcome but rather a molehill to step over.
